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F I L K !

Musical Lyrics modified for the Mouse.



Tragic Kingdom.
Rods Up Your Life!.
She's ADDicted.
DCA-ville.
Go ask Al Lutz.
Submarine Void.
Disney's Yellow Submarine.
Strawberry Fields For Eisner.
Zero To Hero.
.
Rope Bridge line

Tragic Kingdom

by No Doubt
Thanks to Gwen


Once was a magical place
Over time it was lost
Price increased the cost
Now the fortune of the kingdom
Is locked up in its dungeon vaults
The castle floor ties in traps
With coiled wires set back
Decoyed by old cheese
Now the drawbridge has been lifted
As the millions
They drop to their knees

They pay homage to a king
Whose dreams are buried
In their minds
His tears are frozen stiff
Icicles drip from his eyes

The cold wind blows as it snows
On those who fight to get in
On heads that are small
disillusioned as they enter
They're unaware what's
Behind castle walls
But now it's written in stone
The king has been overthrown
By jesterly fools
And the power of the people
Shall come to believe they do rule

They pay homage to a king
Whose dreams are buried
In their minds
His tears are frozen stiff
Icicles drip from his eyes
Welcome to the tragic kingdom
Cornfields of popcorn
Have yet to spring open

Have they lost their heads
Or are they just all blind mice
We've heard all their stories
One too many times
Hypnotized by fireflies
that glow in the dark
Midgets that disguise themselves
As tiny little dwarfs
The parade that's electrical
It serves no real purpose
Just takes up a lot of juice
Just to impress us

Welcome to the tragic kingdom
cornfields of popcorn
Have yet to spring open

They pay homage to a king
Whose dreams are buried
In their minds
His tears are frozen stiff
Icicles drip from his eyes
Welcome to the tragic kingdom
Cornfields of popcorn
Have yet to spring open

Thanks Gwen, fer bringin' nome Jason, the rabit?
Rope Bridge line

Rods Up Your Life!

by Cypher

Parody, sung to "Spice Up Your Life"

Apologies to the Spice Girls (and Ginger too)



One oh one, la, la, la, one oh one,
One oh one, la, la, la.

One oh one, la, la, la, one oh one,
One oh one, la, la, la

When you're feeling, sad and low.
CM's evac you,
Where you gotta go.
Frowning, cursing
"Everything is fine."
All it needs is,
A major redesign.

(CHORUS)
People on the Rods, up there tonight
Every boy and every girl, stuck there for life.
Guests in the park, fell for the hype.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee STOP!

Line up to the left.
Are you having a good time?
Baking in the sun.
Listening to the kids whine.
Cutters in the front
Uh oh, go around.

Line up to the left.
Are you having a good time?
Baking in the sun.
Listening to the kids whine.
Cutters in the front
ah HA, I see you, GO BACK!
(END CHORUS)

One oh one, la, la, la, one oh one,
One oh one, la, la, la.

One oh one, la, la, la, one oh one,
One oh one, la, la, la

Ticked off guests, from Nantucket
Hate the Rods, and just said fuck it!
Kids are fighting, front of me.
I'm stuck in line with this hostility.

(CHORUS)

Pirates and Small World,
Last a lot longer
Even the Mark Twain,
Is a whole lot more funner.

Open ? Open ? Open?
'fraid not.
Broken. Broken. Broken.
What's not?!

aareba, ye, ya, ah HA, hi ho, yo ho

(CHORUS) Rope Bridge line

She's ADDicted

by Cypher

Parody, Sung to the tune of "Spark"

Apologies to Tori Amos. Dedicated to Rae, Indigo and the rest of the Cheese (Show) Heads.


She's ADDicted to Animazment.
She's ADDicted to Animazment.
She wants the show to play nights.
6:15 is the time of the last show.

Here,
Here,
Here.

She's convinced they could put on a good show.
But they could not get a good script.
Doubting that there's a story in there somewhere.

Here,
Here,
Here.

You say you don't want it.
In this big tent,
but you don't, don't want to leave it.
You say you don't want it,
this circus it is.
But you don't, you don't have to see it.
No, you don't really need it.

If the Divine Eisner plans are perfection
Maybe next time we'll give Warner's a try.
Turning the park into ice cream concessions.

Here,
Here,
Here.

You say they'll improve it .
Again and again.
But I don't, don't really believe it
I say they should sell it,
to a circus in town.
Cause the guests don't come to see it.

How many shows can they pay before overtime.
This show has plot points that I can never find.
You though that the show was the bomb,
Well so did I.

Say you won't see it,
Say you won't see it,
Say you won't see it.
Again and again.
Cause you don't really need it.

I say I don't want this,
Lite Tragic it is.
But I don't, don't want flame it.
Cause it don't, don't really need it.

She's ADDicted to Animazment
She wants the show to play nights.
6:15 I know where my friend is.

Here,
Here,
Here,
Rope Bridge line

DCA-ville

by Cypher

PARODY - Sung to the tune of "Margaritaville"

Written as a response to the news that alcohol will be sold in DCA
Apologies to Jimmy Buffett


Nibblin' on churro.
Watching a big hole.
Used to be the old parking lot.
Riding tramzilla
Crossing Katella
Would Walt have approved? No I think he would not.

Wasting away again down in DCA.
Searching for that lost magic of Walt's.
Some people claim that it's Paul Pressler to blame.
But I know,
It's Eisner's fault.

We all know the reason.
Why pixies lasted one season
Had nothing to do with Mulan this year.
The magic was missing.
The guests were all hissing.
And DCA is gonna sell beer?!

Wasting away again down in DCA.
Searching for that lost magic of Walt's
Some people flame that the AP's were to blame.
But I know,
It was Lite Magic's own fault.

Broke my new glow sword.
Started to get bored.
Cut my heal had to go to Central First Aid.
But there's booze in Adventures
And soon I will venture.
South of the berm and into the bar.

Wasting away again down in DCA.
Searching for that lost magic of Walt's.
Some people claim that money's the one to blame.
But you know,
It's the stockholders fault.

Yes and some people claim that I'm the one insane.
Well you know.
They're probably right.
Rope Bridge line

Go ask Al Lutz

by Cypher

PARODY - Sung to the tune of "White Rabbit"

Apologies to what's left of the Jefferson Airplane (Don't you want somebody to flame? Don't you need somebody to blame?)


One ride makes you dizzy and,
one ride makes you small.
And the Rocket…….
Rods above you don't dooooo anything at all.

Go ask Al Lutz, cause he knows it all.

And if you go asking questions.
And you know they're going to stall.
Tell' em a certain
unnamed imagineer has given you a call.

Go ask Al Lutz, cause he hears it all.

When the Suits in the board room get up and tell you where to go.
And you just had some kind of churro and your mind is moving wrong.

Go ask Al Lutz, I think he'll know,

Why the park's basic upkeep has fallen sloppy dead.
And the CM's are talking backwards.
Driving the ADDers out of their heads
Remember what Tom Morrow said
Surf the web,
Surf the web.
Rope Bridge line

Submarine Void

by Cypher

Parody, sung to "Gilliagan's Island"



(Do dit do do do)
Now sit right back and you hear a tale
Of an attraction that was fun.
That started near the Pizza Port for a 40 year run
A 40 year run.

<Lighting Sound Effects>

The budget started getting tight.
The subs were getting tossed.
If not for the rantings of the regulars,
The Voyage would be lost.
The Voyage would be lost.

The Sub Lagoon is a desert plot.
In a corner of this land.
With Eyes-in-near, Paul Pressler too.
(do dit do dit do do do)
The Imagineers and their plans.
The Toxic Waves and the rest.
Here in Submarine VoyD.


Now this is ride that's been cast away.
Away for a long long time.
Atlantis is on the drawing boards.
With a budget of one dime

No (Phantom) Boat , No Light (Magic)
No Rocket Rods,
Just a bunch of ODV's

This place they called Tomorrowland
Looks as primitive as can be.

So join us a the hub each week.
And you're sure to get a pin.
From a bunch of disgruntled Ay Dee Dees
Here on Submarine VoyD.

Cypher
(O.K. So the last line don't rhyme, what's it to yah?)

Rope Bridge line

Disney's Yellow Submarine

by Chris Smith

PARODY - Sung to the tune of "Yellow Submarine"

Apologies to John, Paul, George and Ringo

In the town of Anaheim
Was a place called "Disneyland".
And a ride of submarines
In the old Tomorrowland.

So we walked in the hot sun
Until we found the man-made sea
And we rode beneath the waves
In a yellow submarine.

CHORUS:
We all rode in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine.
We all rode in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine.

With our friends, we went aboard
Watching our step through the door
And the spiel began to play
"We are now under way and proceeding on a course that will take us on a voyage of exploration through liquid space. En route, we will pass below the polar ice cap, and then probe depths seldom seen by man."

CHORUS
*bubble, bubble, bubble*
*Ping!*
"Salvage operation ahead, sir. Divers to port and starboard."
"These classic ruins could very well be the lost continent of Atlantis."
"Great Scott, you're right!"
"Stand by to surface"

And in 1998
The submarines suffered a horrible fate.
They just costed too much.
To be replaced in 5 years or such.

CHORUS 'till fade.

Rope Bridge line

Strawberry Fields For Eisner

by Cypher

PARODY - Sung to the tune of "Strawberry Fields Forever"

Apologies to John, Paul, George and Ringo
BTW this took 45 min. to make.
"Happiness is a warm churro.
Bite Bite
Chew Chew"


Let me buy you out, 'cos I'm gonna get Strawberry Fields.
Nothing's a steal and nothing what you're gonna get.
Strawberry Fields for Eisner.

Living is easy with rides closed,
Ignoring every guest you see
It's getting hard… on the …CM's … but it all works out.
It doesn't matter much to me.

Let me take these clowns…for that patch of…Strawberry Fields.
With me you must deal, and our offer is all you're gonna get.
Strawberry Fields for Eisner

No one will think it's for me, the vegetation has to go.
That is… we can't…. you know….moving in till it's tonight,
They'll never think it's not so bad.

Let me get that ground, 'cos I'm gonna need Strawberry Fields
Plans are not real and nothing gonna get put up.
Strawberry Fields for Eisner

Always know that in time it'd be mine.
But you know I skimmed off every dime.
I think …I can…get guests …but it's all talk,
That is you better not disagree.

Leave you tied and bound, cos' I'm gonna get Strawberry Fields.
Nothing you'll feel and nothing but a hole in a ground.
Strawberry Fields for Eisner
Strawberry Fields for Eisner
Strawberry Fields for …..


(softly spoken in backward masking)
….I bury Walt…
Rope Bridge line

Zero To Hero

Hercules Soundtrack by Lyrics


Bless my soul
Herc was on a roll
Person of the week in ev'ry Greek opinion poll
What a pro
Herc could stop a show
Point him at a monster
and you're talkin' S.R.O.
He was a no one
A zero, zero
Now he's a honcho
He's a hero
Herc was a kid with his
act down pat
From zero to hero
in no time flat
Zero to hero
just like that

When he smiled
The girls went wild with
oohs and aahs
And they slapped his face
On ev'ry vase
(on ev'ry "vahse")

From appearance fees
and royalties
Our Herc had cash
to burn
Now nouveau riche
an' famous
He could tell you
What's a Grecian urn?

Say amen
There he goes again
Sweet and undefeated
And an awesome 10 for 10
Folks lined up
Just to watch him flex
And this perfect package
packed a pair of pretty pecs

Hercie, he comes
He sees, he conquers
Honey, the crowds were Going bonkers
He showed the moxie
brains, and spunk
From zero to hero
a major hunk
Zero to hero
and who'da thunk

Who put the glad
in gladiator?
Hercules!
Whose daring deeds are
great the-a-tre?
Hercules!
Is he bold?
No one braver
Is he sweet?
Our fav'rite flavor
Hercules, Hercules…

Bless my soul
Herc was on a roll
Undefeated
Riding high
And the nicest guy
Not conceited

He was a nothin'
a zero, zero
Now he's a honcho
He's a hero

He hit the heights at
breakneck speed
From zero to hero
Herc is a hero
Now he's a hero
Yes, indeed!


<8=o)-BACK— to Journal.
Updated on 2012.11.04.
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